My Salad Days

Taking a Leap

2012-01-30T12:38:00.006-08:00

I signed up for my first 5K in about ten years today. It will happen on February 19th, and I will attempt to run most, if not all, of it. Boy, do I feel trepidation.

Even the Trailer Makes Me Cry

2012-01-29T22:06:00.000-08:00

Myself as Media Consumer

2012-01-29T11:58:00.002-08:00

I've been avidly reading the blog of a friend who lives in Portugal. I also enjoy leaving comments and seeing her responses - whether it's in the response area itself or, like today, when she wrote a blog entry specifically answering all my questions. I wonder why it's easier for me to respond to other people's writing rather than do the writing myself.
A challenge: imagine someone asking me questions about my life and answering and sharing more on my blog.

Growing Up

2012-01-28T09:45:00.001-08:00

Today I take Esme bra shopping. In the past six months, she has started displaying some physical signs of puberty, even though I have seen mental signs of puberty for a bit longer. It is odd: she is still fully little girl - skipping down the street to our car, squealing when she sees her best friend - but is also asking mature questions about relationships, politics, her body. I'm so pleased to witness this journey.

Awesome things the girls have said lately

2011-12-13T17:10:00.002-08:00

Esme looks at her cup, sees that it's empty and picks it up to drink from.
"What are you doing? Is there something in there?" I ask.
"The taste of disappointment," replies Esme, 9.

"Mama, I really want to sing the next verse of this song, but I can't," says Harper.
"Why not?" I ask.
"Because I don't remember all the emotions that go along with it," replies Harper, 5.

‎"Don't make him divorce you, Mama! I don't want to end up in a broken home," said Esme, as I was baiting

Steve about a recent article on marital generosity.

Halloween 2011 Catch-up Post

2011-11-26T09:27:00.000-08:00

My girls: a tooth fairy and Severus Snape.

Black Friday 2011

2011-11-25T15:24:00.001-08:00

Sitting by the ocean, knitting Christmas gifts. Oh yeah, the fireplace will light soon. And a mojito will be placed in my hand.

Raising Funds for Esme's School

2011-09-25T11:26:00.001-07:00

The Mountain That Exploded by Harper

2011-09-23T11:46:00.000-07:00

Once there was a pyramid, and there was a girl near it and a magic shoe. The pyramid exploded and the girl died, and all that was left was the magic shoe. The End.

What to say about 9/11

2011-09-09T10:15:00.000-07:00

Well, we have a big anniversary coming up on Sunday, and I will feel strange and bad if I don't at least acknowledge it and say something to my children. My husband was angry when Esme's school did not even discuss the Presidential election in 2008 and the historical precedent of the election of a black man. He was super-angry when no one talked about the horrible things that have happened in Haiti, and would have been upset about the lack of news about Japan except for the fact that a classmate of Esme's was personally impacted by the tsunami, so the teacher and class HAD to talk about it.
What will I say? We live so far away from New York and Washington, but I like how blogger Ask Moxie talked about it with her boys: there are bad people in the world who ran planes into buildings ten years ago, but there were also many helpers who stepped forward. There are always good people and bad people; let's be on the side of the good ones, okay?

Our Summer Goals (posted on the wall by the diningroom table)

2011-09-01T13:33:00.000-07:00

One of Esme's last homework assignments in her school year was to create goals for the summer. The girls and I all opted to create goals for the summer, and I thought it would be interesting to see how we did.

Mama's Goals
Physical/Athletic:

Cutting five minutes from my 5K time. DONE! I went from 45 minutes to a 38 minute best time at the beginning of August. My usual time is still around 41 minutes though, with all these dang hills!
I want to be able to run 8K without fainting. Not done. I can do about 6K without getting sick.

Reading:

Goodreads book reviews for every book I read. Pretty good on this goal - I tend to leave out the books that I think my goodreads friends (a learned/discerning bunch) will sniff at though. When will I live my life without shame?
Book reviews for the library. DONE. I even won a gift certificate for submitting reviews.
Reread all the Harry Potter books. Oh my. I did terribly at this one. I got through book three and then went kaput when I had eye problems this summer. I felt like if I was going to go blind that I wanted to do it while reading something new. Steve and Harper are reading book 4 together right now, so I can hop back on the wagon when they finish the book if I want to.

Sightseeing:

Hike in the Gorge. NOT DONE/GOAL IMPROVED UPON. I do love the gorge, but we opted for a hike at Silver Falls, which is closer to Salem. The girls each hiked about 4 1/2 miles. Harper had to be carried for the last mile, but Esme did the whole thing. I'm very proud of them both, and we did get to see seven waterfalls.
Go to the Farmers Market at Portland State University. DONE. This is the biggest of the farmers markets in the area, with the crowds and food to show for it. I loved it and had a grand time (although I missed talking to all the friends I used to run into at the Ann Arbor Farmers Market),. Steve and the girls put up with this goal gamely but did not relish all the new food trying and crowds.

Personal:

Recertify as a Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator. IN PROCESS. I have about ten credits to go, I think, and then I have to start BRANDING! myself and PROMOTING! myself.
Knit a pair of socks. ONE SOCK DONE. I don't know that I'll ever be a sockanista.
Make stuff for our Etsy shop. Oh, lord. I've been knitting like crazy but for gifts.

Citizenship:

Check into volunteering at the local library. I've got the application. I just have to fill it out and see what our schedule looks like once both girls are in school.

Esme's Goals

Physical/Athletic:

Run 1 1/2 miles. NOT DONE. OR MAYBE DONE, WE'RE NOT SURE. Esme did do a lap with me at the local track on the day I worked to get my best 5K time (see above) and claims that she has run "six Wii miles, on that day that I got the horrible leg cramp." Wii miles are only loosely related to miles in the real world, so it's hard to say just how much she ran that day.
Swim like a goddess. DONE. Esme soared in her swim class this summer and has been promoted to the next level. Provided she makes it off the wait list, we may have a really good swimmer in our family soon, someone who even participates on Swim Team.
Learn how to roller skate. HALFWAY THERE. We went skating with our best friends, and Esme go to the point where she could intermittently lift her hands from the railing. Not bad, my friend.

Reading:

Read a non-fiction book. DONE IN A PANSY-ASS KIND OF WAY. Esme has read books about doll-making this summer and used the info as inspiration for her creations. I think she intended this to stretch her, though. She says when we go to the library today she will look for something "challenging."

Sightseeing:

Take pictures of stuff on a hike and make a book. SHE FORGOT HER CAMERA DURING OUR HIKE TO SILVER FALLS. This may have to become a fall goal.

Personal:

Go to Free Swim. DONE. But we shall do more.

Citizenship:

Pick up trash. WELL, THAT'S USEFUL BUT LAME. And she hasn't done it either.

Harper's Goals

Physical/Athletic:

Ride my Skutt alot and make my balance better. DONE.
Play outside alot. MOSTLY DONE.
Take swimming lessons. DONE. And she's starting to dunk her head.

Reading:

Finish a summer reading program with Washington County. DONE.
Read 60 new words by the end of the summer. I THINK WE'RE AT 45. If we make a concerted effort, we could get to 60 by Tuesday.

Sightseeing:

Go on a hike and make a book of pictures of fairy houses. MAMA'S BAD. I SHOULD HAVE TAKEN PICTURES.
Go to the Zoo. I DON'T LIKE THE ZOO RIGHT NOW.

Personal:

Make lots of art and writing. DONE. WE'VE GOT AN ARTIST SLASH MANIAC.
Learn how to make an acorn from Julia and Molly. NOT DONE.

Citizenship:

Talk about citizenship. DONE.

A Questionnaire for Harper

2011-08-18T14:54:00.000-07:00

Harper starts at a new school on September 8th. She will be an Early Kindergartner at 4 3/4 and will attend a special school which follows the model of the Reggio-Emilia schools in Italy. The focus is on nature, creativity and developing the senses. This is the questionnaire that they sent home to us, and it was filled out by all of us.
What attracts your child's attention? What brings him/her joy? What engages your child for extended periods of time?
Harper gets motivated by exposure to many different forms of art media. She will spend 45 minutes in our art area just trying to make a piece to her specifications.
What makes your child laugh? What amuses and delights her? What sparks her sense of humor?
Esme: when I tickle her!
Steve: when we say something that is just ridiculous
Harper: when I see my best friends!
All of us: when Harper says something or does something ridiculous
What kinds of situations have you noticed can hurt your child's feelings, evoke sadness or emotional distress?
Harper gets upset when someone gets angry at her, most especially us! She gets upset when Esme wants some "alone" time. Criticism bugs her! Finally, it can really bother her when boys roar, growl or try to scare her or when someone tells her that she's being a baby or "lame."
What relationships (people, animals, nature, objects, arts) are important and valued by your child? Who or what seems to make your child come alive?
Esme! Her best friends, the Ayles sisters, really get her feeling creative. She loves Teacher Sam at her theater school. Harper is crazy about us, her mama and daddy. Characters in books are very important as well: Jack & Annie; Hermione, Ron & Harry; Ladybug Girl: Charlotte & Wilbur; Ramona & Beezus.
What gifts, abilities, qualities, competencies have you noticed are emerging?
Like I said before, art is very important to Harper, and she's pretty great at it. Harper loves to sing, write, think about numbers and use her imagination to tell stories of all kinds.
What do you see as challenges for your child? What areas of growth are more demanding or intense?
Harper wants to read and write very badly! That has not come as easily for her as she would have liked, since the rest of her family loves to read. She hates trying new foods. Planning is also a challenge; putting the pieces of a day together just doesn't seem like part of her make-up right now.
What do you admire about your child? What is something you truly appreciate? In what ways has he/she made your life richer and more meaningful?
Harper can be hilariously funny. She makes us laugh just about every day. She's very helpful. She is very resilient and can go with the flow very easily (except where food is concerned). She's a very free spirit and is extremely generous.
Any other comments?
Harper is very excited to attend your school! She made a calendar in the beginning of the summer so she could figure out how long it would be until she started!

Where's Your Pants, Kid?

2011-07-06T19:18:00.000-07:00

It took forever, but we finally got our butts out of the house today to go to the library. As we park the car and I unbuckle Harper, I notice something strange.
"Where's your pants, kid?"
She had decided that a longish shirt, underwear and a pair of black boots were enough.
"Esme, how come you didn't notice Harper's wardrobe choice? You were playing with her for an hour before we left."
"Mama, how come you didn't notice?"
"I was too busy thinking."
So, we ended up at the frozen yogurt place and library with a pantsless young lady. If she could live with it, we could live with it.

Harry Potter Obsession

2011-05-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

We're in the middle of a Harry Potter obsession at the Fife-Adams household. Esme has now read almost all the books three times and is in the middle of creating her own fangirl stories that are often part of imaginary play but sometimes also get written down. Harper is in the middle of reading Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (book 3) with her dad and has watched the first two movies with the family.
With both of them so consumed with imaginary play revolving around Hogwarts, we've tried to use situations and characters to inspire cooperative behavior. Cooper Mountain Nature Park becomes the Forbidden or Dark Forest. Attending Hands on Science class becomes "going to Potions." If we're having a hard time getting them motivated to go do whatever it is that needs doing, we just put on our thinking hats and come up with a magical corollary. Sometimes our brains have to work very hard.
This imaginary world has also become the foundation for all play that the girls do with their best friends Lily and Molly. Sometimes the Potterverse has multiple Ginnys (1 and 2); occasionally there are multiple Hermiones. The men around sometimes become Harry, Ron or Dumbledore, but usually the male characters remain firmly in the imagination.
I vastly prefer having the girls use book characters in their imaginary play since they seem to do more with them than when using movie characters. I suspect that since book characters live in the imagination already, it's easier to manipulate them into new stories.

Perfect Mother's Day

2011-05-08T20:03:00.000-07:00

I just had to document this day because it was so perfect.
I woke up early for a quick run, and while I didn't run fast, at least I did it.
Steve then announced that everyone needed to get dressed quickly because one of my Mother's Day gifts was brunch at Tasty 'n Sons, which we've heard lovely things about from several people. The wait was an hour and 45 minutes, but we didn't care because a wonderful, wonderful cafe was right down the block and we all shared lovely cafe drinks, ate cafe food and played or read the New York Times, depending on our preferences. After the cafe visit, we went to a toy store which was also on the same block and spent some quality time looking at overpriced German toys.
Then....
we got the call from the restaurant and proceeded to have the most delicious brunch we've had in years. I had a Burmese pork stew with two types of eggs in it, Steve had some crazy different kind of chicken hash, and the girls had granola, biscuits, bacon and French toast. And on top of that, we had dates wrapped in bacon, perhaps my favorite thing ever!
After that, we headed over to the theater. After calling the moms, we saw an amazing new production of Snow White, which was inspired by anime and had our favorite young actress of Portland in it.
Now we're home and Steve is making my favorite dinner, Fragrant Green Curry.
This day contained all of my favorites: exercise, time with Steve and the girls, exploration of a new part of town, amazing food, amazing performances, a really cool book (one of my gifts), oh, and I hear Steve making me a mojito (Yum!!). If I could have had more family around and my favorite people, that might have put the day over into "impossibly heavenly," so I think I'll be satisfied with what I got.
The presents I got:
a beautiful plate made by Harper
a beautiful poster made by Esme, explaining all the different reasons why she loves me
a new kitchen faucet installed by Steve
a cool t-shirt that says "Peace Love Knitting"
a book from the MOCALA exhibit "Art in the Streets"
Awesome!!

Guerrilla Learning Moment 3/21/11

2011-03-30T19:44:00.000-07:00

One of the takeaways from NurtureShock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman was that kids who are asked to organize their play tend to do better on tests of executive function. Executive function, ignoring the funky name, is simply the ability to organize one's time effectively. This has been a stretch for Esme: she complains long and loudly about never having the time to do what she wants to do and then comes up fast against some homework deadlines, a feeling that, alas, is familiar to both her dad and myself from days past (days past for me, maybe not so much for SJFA). In order to achieve Esme's ideal Spring Break, I helped her make a schedule for the week so that she could do both the things she wanted to do and the things that she needed to do. Here's a snapshot (before everything was filled in):

How did she do?
In a word, brilliantly! She had a couple of things that she had to get done during the week, like cleaning her room, writing a story for a friend, sewing her Girl Scout badges on to her vest, etcetera. Scheduling a time period almost every day of the week in order to get those things done then allowed her to enjoy her play time and free time that much more. Not only did she get all her have-to's done, she also added a few other fun and not-so-fun things to her list, had a total blow-off day in the middle of the week AND read for 17 hours.
Will it carry into the rest of her life? I was straightening up some of her papers today and saw the beginnings of a new schedule. I'm not sure how directive I should be about helping her get her new schedule set, but I was excited that she at least started making her own.

Happy Holidays 2010!

2010-12-18T16:26:00.000-08:00

Hello family and friends!
This year we decided to do what so many of you have done already; we've opted to do an online holiday newsletter because it allows us to better share our year with you via photo, writing, video and links to our favorite books, music and people!

You may approach this letter in any way you choose: read a few of our essays, take a look at our 2010 photobook (make sure to click on it if you want to read the captions), click on a musical artist or book title if you want to find out more about our favorites of the past year, watch our Esme movie if you want to see how she's grown and developed in the past eight years or skip all that if it just seems like so much solipsism.

As always, feel free to email me or Steve if you have questions, comments or thoughts to share on this update of our annual tradition.

Theater Day: 11/20/10

2010-11-28T16:04:00.000-08:00

The girls recently performed in their Fall plays at the North West Children's Theater. Top picture is Harper as a Fairy Princess Spider in Little Miss Muffet. Second photo is Esme and her cousin Ali. Esme starred as Sandy the baker girl in a production of The Gingerbread Boy. The last picture is of both girls with their theater teacher Lisa. Lisa has been Harper's teacher for the last three classes.

As expected, Esme loves theater and plans to be an actress when she grows up (along with a writer, a teacher, a mom, an artist, and a chef). She has a real presence up on the stage and has learned so much in the two years we've been attending classes at NWCT. Harper has a ton of fun and has no fear being up on the stage; I don't think that theater will be her vocation, however. When she grows up, she says she wants to be a ballerina, an actress, an artist and a big sister. I think she might be a writer (focus, creativity, little fear of criticism), too.

Esme cartwheels

2010-10-22T10:33:00.000-07:00

Janet O'Malley 1932 - 2010

2010-10-10T10:17:00.000-07:00

Aunt Jan always seemed like the intrepid adventurer to me – she and Uncle Jack were always jetting off to a new exciting destination. One year it was Egypt; another year it was China. She’s one of the few people I knew who could conquer a country in high heels. Other relatives said that Jan and Jack knew the world better than they knew their own country, but I always felt like they thirsted for really new experiences that weren’t possible in the United States.

It hasn’t always been travel that Aunt Jan was adventurous about. Sometimes it was work: it seemed like she was a traveling salesperson before there were any other women out on the road. She owned her own café without having owned a business before. Sometimes it was just keeping up with the world. When I was a kid, she knew sports news better than any other woman I knew, even if she did have a hard time pronouncing the names. She was always up on the news, often dressed fashionably with wonderfully bright lipstick AND she introduced me to Scotch (she brought her own bottle to one of my brother’s graduation parties as if anticipating that no collegiate would have the quality of scotch that she was after). I know that she must have felt fearful about trying new things, but I think she just put on her game face, took a deep breath and leaped in. She never had the protection or warnings that parents might give, so she had to develop her own Teflon and be willing to fall but get right up again.

Sometimes Aunt Jan would speak her mind without thinking; who am I kidding? She always spoke her mind. She offended countless relations by simply saying what she was thinking at the time, but for whatever reason, I either never took offense, forgave her quickly or secretly applauded her for saying what no one else in the room had the guts to say. She often had opinions that differed vastly from my own but I rarely felt judged by her except when I knew that I wasn't being my best.

Aunt Jan was a feminist without considering herself one and always made me feel that I could accomplish whatever I set my mind to. She failed plenty of times but has never grew tired of making the attempt; I try to think of that whenever I’m feeling nervous about my latest endeavor. Being her own true self without worrying about others’ opinions has helped me feel more comfortable living authentically. People often consider me blunt and curious about the world; thank you Aunt Jan for giving me a role model.

A Very Interesting Moment in Learning to Read

2010-10-05T17:56:00.001-07:00

H and Steve have recently started reading chapter books in earnest. Beezus and Ramona was a hit, as was The Spiderwick series, but other books were eliciting yawns, so I opened up the matter to my peeps on Facebook and asked for suggestions. The Magic Treehouse books were a recurrent suggestion, so this weekend Steve and girls traveled to both library and bookstore in order to explore this new-to-him series. E was filled with suggestions since she had read these books at school for the past few years, and convinced Steve to start from the beginning.

Fast forward to this morning. While I'm doing my workout, H grabs some of her little Polly Pocket dolls and starts playing with the treehouse. After awhile, she goes to the art area and finds a piece of paper and a pencil. After folding the piece of paper in half, she asks me to remind her how to make a "D." I oblige, and ask her what she wants to write. She says she wants to write "dinosaur" but doesn't want me to do it for her, so I pull out her alphabet cards so that she can make each letter as we sound out the word. She writes the word "Dinosaur" on her piece of paper after much discussion about the correct letters and whether each should be upper case or lower case. Finally, she takes her completed piece of paper over to her dolls and the treehouse. Picking up the doll named "Nick," she has him point at the piece of paper, which is now a book, and has him say "I wish to be there!" After pretending that the treehouse (which is bigger than her) has spun around several times, she makes "Sally" run out and chase the dog and say, "Hey Nick! It's not so bad here! Come on out!" Fun ensues.

So, several interesting things going on here - all of which she's done separately but never together before. 1) She's written a few words besides her name, her sister's name and "Mama," but this time it really had a purpose for her. 2) She's acted out stories before, most memorably when she had the entire family reenact a chapter from Beezus and Ramona. This time, however, she consciously used her dolls because of having a doll-sized treehouse. 3) I really like how she used her imagination to create a book for her characters. I know very little about The Magic Treehouse, but I do know that the main character "Jack" opens a book and wishes to be wherever the book is picturing/talking about. 4) I also love that she used the names "Nick" and "Sally," since they're the main characters from the new Cat in the Hat show that is on PBSKids now. Nick and Sally also travel to amazing realms, but don't engage in the sophisticated problem-solving that I believe Jack and Annie do. Was H bringing it down to a level that made more sense to her in her play? I'll have to ask her about her choices.

Why do I find this so interesting? E was so secretive about her learning to read process. She was very concerned that Steve and I would stop reading to her once she knew how to read, so kept it all away from us. Since H has the evidence in front of her that we will continue reading to her after she reads, it's all right out there for us to see, and I love watching it!

Peace In the Middle East?

2010-09-14T21:03:00.000-07:00

Today has been a frustrating day of negotiating "parent helper" shifts between at least five parents at my younger daughter's preschool. As Co-President, I get to deal with people who don't play nicely together....and that can be just plain exhausting. After hours of conversations and emails, I finally announced to dear daughter H that "we were going to do something fun," so after picking up the older sister from school, we went to the nursery and got mint plants and a pretty pot. I've decided that I must always have supplies ready for an emergency mojito. If this is how it is for me, I imagine that Hillary Clinton must be verging on alcoholism.

Traveling

2010-08-16T21:47:00.000-07:00

For the next few weeks, the Family Fife-Adams will be off to the sunny, hot Midwest. Stops include Chicago and Ann Arbor, MI. I'm sure there will be many pictures.

The Official Explanation

2010-08-07T10:26:00.000-07:00

Inquiring readers want to know why Steve shaved off his beard.

At the beginning of the summer, Steve's work team had a looming deadline and no likely possibility of reaching it. In a momentary lapse of the reason and cynicism that I married him for, Steve made a faustian bargain and told his team that if they completed all their projects by July 30th that he would shave off his beard, the beard that had been with him since he was sixteen years of age. Perhaps it was that alone that inspired the team to work weekends and stay late at night, but by Tuesday the 27th, just about everything was done. And the fate of Steve's beard was sealed.

It's off!

2010-08-02T14:57:00.000-07:00

Steve shaves his beard

2010-08-02T14:53:00.000-07:00

Harper's Way With Words

2010-07-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

plate mattress = placemat

"Mama, can we go to a playground without Esme?" = "Mama, can we go to a playground while Esme is busy at her theater camp?"

"Mama, I stuck my face only in the little pool today." = "Mama, instead of putting my entire head underwater, I was only able to put my face in my teacher's hands in the pool."

Leap of Faith

2010-07-26T20:36:00.000-07:00

Last week, the girls won a goldfish in a small bowl from Steve's company picnic. I had been the person to feed and care for Ponyo - as is usually the case for Mom and Dad. This evening when we got home from picking Esme up at camp, we couldn't find Ponyo in her bowl. I got more and more worried and then looked in the leftover lentil soup from lunch. Did Ponyo want to try a new food or was she just feeling exuberant this afternoon? Steve went and fed her to the plants when he got home, and he and I shared a toast to a most excellent goldfish. Ponyo, you weren't with us long, but I'll miss you.

Pictures from the theater

2010-06-17T20:42:00.000-07:00

These are from Esme's theater performance of a few weeks ago now. Esme is still wearing her Northwest Children's Theater and School t-shirt almost non-stop and can't wait for theater camp later in the summer when she'll get to put on a Madeline story with 15 other kids.

Esme played Gran Mouse in a production of Country Mouse, City Mouse and had a challenging bit of "business" when she had to trip one of the other characters with her cane at the exact right moment....which she succeeded at brilliantly!

They've got the theater bug.

2010-06-06T22:25:00.000-07:00

So I don't think I'm gonna end up a soccer mom. I think I'll be a theater mom.
Both Harper and Esme had their performances this week for the theater classes that they've been taking since I got hit with pneumonia (beginning of April). I enjoyed watching both (and will try to get pics of Esme's show up at some point) and was struck by how much fun each girl had - there was no nervousness or self-consciousness. For Esme in particular, it seemed as if she was finally home, had finally reached the place where she could be relaxed. She had the funniest lines in the play "Country Mouse, City Mouse," and excellent comic timing.
She also had that post-play depression that so many actors get; she missed her theater family and wanted them back.
Thespian Esme. I like how that sounds.

April was both cruel and kind.

2010-05-08T23:35:00.000-07:00

Now that I comfortably sit in May, I can reflect upon the fact that this past April was about as bad as it gets. It started out with an incredible April Fools on me: I got pneumonia and was laid up most of the month with no activity allowed (so that I wouldn't end up hospitalized) and ended with the death of our beloved 10-year-old pup Laika.
My doc doesn't know exactly how I got the pneumonia; our best guess is that the nasty cold that made its way through the family in late March was enough to weaken me and then because I kept doing mom things (you know: the shopping, library trips, school pick ups and drop offs) and continued with my fitness regime, it was enough to knock me out when that nasty bacteria came a'callin'. Anyway, I could barely move for ten days and then I had to ease back very slowly into my life - I was only able to go back to yoga last week! The only good things about being an invalid is that I got the chance to watch a ton of movies, read a big bunch of books, caught up on my goodreads book reviews and got to have time just to sit and talk with my girls. From that standpoint it was like a forced vacation - only with pain!
Just as I was starting to feel better, Laika was starting to fail. Her last few weeks were miserable: she lost much weight because almost anything she took in came out right away. She had suffered from multiple myeloma, a cancer somewhat like leukemia, for 18 months, and finally her meds stopped controlling the cancerous growth and her kidneys stopped working after so many months of trying to filter out the toxins from the chemo and dealing with any waste from the cancer cells. In the last week she stopped eating and doing the steps up to our bedroom. Finally on April 22nd, Earth Day, we had our wonderful vet and her nurse come to the house so we could bid Laika farewell. It was really challenging but was also a relief for us to not see Laika suffer anymore. Our farewell to her was memorable and sad - and perhaps something I'll write about with greater detail at another time in order to give other families some suggestions on how to deal with the death of a pet.

So I just let out a gigantic sigh as I finished typing the last paragraph. April was cruel, but it gave our family an opportunity to become closer in ways that I could not have anticipated - time to have conversations that would not have taken place otherwise. I also had the benefit of a lot of thinking time - usually I'm too busy trying to manage the family in order to let myself think about the goals I have for myself. I don't know if this is universal, but I think I needed the horror of April in order to have the moments of realization that crept up on me. I love this new awareness and appreciation that I have for life and will treasure any ability I continue to have to not take things for granted. Now I just have to make myself read that last sentence the next time I'm feeling mopey.

Guerrilla Math

2010-03-25T15:56:00.000-07:00

Guerrilla math is something that most of us do everyday with our children. It can be as simple as asking your kids how many carrots they want with lunch or as challenging as solving for x when the number of pieces of candy is 36 and you have 5 friends + yourself at the park.

The times that I use guerrilla math most often are when preparing meals. If we're cooking something and using measuring cups or spoons, we'll either talk about the size (with my younger) or we'll use a smaller size of cup to get to the total (the elder) by using 3 x 1/3c to get a cup of flour.

In our household, we start talking about numbers as soon as the little people are starting to communicate with us. When the girls were babies, I would sometimes sing songs about how many bites of baby food they had left - which has segued into singing about how many bites of food we have left before someone gets a treat. Sometimes we count how many steps it will take to get to the top/bottom of the steps or how many pieces of pizza make up the circle (which turns into a lovely discussion of fractions).

My seven year old loves it when we come up with tricky story problems. We will often think about what's going on in our lives and create a problem based on that. The other day I used my current knitting project to serve as the basis for E's problem: if Mama's knitting has 56 stitches per row and it takes six rows to make an inch, how many stitches will there be in 10 inches of knitting? (3360 stitches) We had to help E with the problem, but we all learned alot during the process.

Steve finds math to be really cool (the benefit of having a mathematician for a parent, perhaps?) so often talks about things like why 12 is such a cool number (it has so many numbers that it can be divided by), and I find myself learning a lot from these conversations. Sometimes I have to ask him to clarify even if E is on board and completely understands. In my childhood, math was rote and everything was memorized, so we didn't talk about math theory or the process of figuring out a problem.

From conversations about numbers, we've moved into conversations about money. E receives $10/month for being generally helpful around the house. (You could do this with $1/month, too!) She gets to make monthly decisions about her money such as whether to save it or to spend it on the cool item of the moment. For the past two years, she's managed to save up enough money that she could afford splurges at the American Girl Store (her great passion - substitute the Lego Store or another place for your less-doll-interested child). It's been wonderful to see her doing math at the store or with her catalogs to figure out what she wants to spend her money on. The first Christmas she bought a doll for $95 and then needed to decide what to do with the $25 she still had left. The agonizing that was part of that process really helped to strengthen her addition and subtraction skills.

Are we genius parents who can't be emulated by 95% of the parenting population out there? No way. I often have to pull out pencil and paper when we're working on our problems, and when I'm tired and over-hungry there's no way that every moment will turn into a teachable moment. Do we get a math problem or two into everyday? Yes - and I know that you can, too, even if it just involves how many M&Ms are left over from a bag containing 150 if everyone in the family had 15 each.

What are your tips for including math in everyday? Please share!

Springtime comes to Oregon

2010-02-28T18:23:00.000-08:00

The Bathrooms of Beaverton

2010-02-13T10:58:00.003-08:00

I'm tired. Really tired. Harper has taken to potty-training like a champion, which I'm grateful for, but she really wants to try out her mad skillz at each place we go. I'm getting a tour of the public restrooms of Beaverton that I don't think I had ever imagined being a part of our potty training journey. I speculate that she wants to see if using the toilet in a different place is a different experience than just your usual toilet-using experience. This means that my knees have felt the clean and not-so-clean tile of several places in town. I think I know what Harper has learned, but perhaps just as importantly, this is what I have learned:

Costco has a cleaner Ladies Room than one might anticipate. That being said, the Dyson hand dryers can certainly harsh a poop-going vibe. (Nonetheless, we had success!)
The library has a small toilet. And a small sink. This filled my three year old with a quivering excitement that would no doubt thrill the makers of these devices.
School restrooms are not quite as dirty as the restrooms of Thai restaurants, but it's only by a tiny amount. I thought about changing my pants after that experience.
This makes sense, but the busier the store, the dirtier the restroom. Costco was the only exception to that. Maybe we'll be doing a lot more shopping at Costco.
Starbucks' design extends to their restrooms. I like the pictures.
Self-flushing toilets are the enemy of young toilet users everywhere.

There have been no accidents during the day for the last several days, which is awesome. She has embraced the potty-using life, and we can barely keep up with the stickers.

New Classes

2010-01-20T20:39:00.002-08:00

Esme and Harper started new acting classes today at the Northwest Theater School. Harper is taking a very young person's acting class called "Little Dog Lost." They're learning about how to put your imagination to work (by figuring out what it means to act like different animals and acting out emotions). Harper loved the first class and more than held her own in a class of 10 mostly 4 and 5 year olds. Esme's class is called "Singing Silly Songs," and is an introduction to musical theater. I love that the song they tackled today was "Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots, Pt. 1" by the Flaming Lips. It is one of her dad's favorites, and we listened to the whole album during dinner. Esme had so many questions about the album, and it was fun to talk about the band and about what led to "Yoshimi."

History is Great!

2010-01-20T20:35:00.002-08:00

Did you ever feel so impressed with someone that you had to share? I recently discovered a really great blog called Maxine Making History. It is written by the eight year old daughter of an old Borders friend of mine, and color me envious! Her writing has verve and style and her love of history and social studies comes through every word! Take a peek; I'm sure you'll enjoy.

Vacation in Southern California

2009-12-22T21:52:00.004-08:00

Steve, the girls, the pup and I are all in Southern California for two weeks to celebrate Christmas with his family and to just take a breather from life. Today we explored several beaches in Malibu - impressed with the height of the waves as a killer wind hit the coast and windsurfers took to the water. Tomorrow, I think we'll probably explore what L.A. has to offer children: I hear that there's a lovely playground, carousel and a few museums all in Griffith Park. I'd love to do one of those bus tours of stars' homes, but I don't think that little people will have the patience for that.
Best part of today: dinner with Steve's brother, his partner Diane and their lovely little boy.
Worst part of today: various members of family becoming afflicted with colds.
Despite the colds, I don't think our family has been this relaxed since our trip to Cannon Beach last August. Abundant sunshine and sandy beaches seem to agree with us.

Quotes

2009-11-02T19:55:00.003-08:00

Steve: "Harper, time to get ready for bed!"
Harper: "I don't want to get ready for bed. Getting ready for bed is dreadful!"

Steve: "Look, Mama's behind us!"
Esme: "Quick! Swerve! Mama's in hot pursuit!"

The Official Halloween Portraits 2009

2009-10-28T19:59:00.003-07:00

Halloween costumes have taken on a decidedly darker turn this year in the Fife-Adams household: the Pirate Festival in September had a great influence on the girls.

Harper is perhaps the world's smallest (and cutest) pirate, while Esme opted for being a Warrior Princess.

Brain Development

2009-10-22T18:09:00.004-07:00

Harper and I just got back from the Midwest where we visited mostly family for a few days. My MIL always says that travel causes great changes in kids' brains, and it's usually borne out. This time was no different.

Exchange from yesterday:

H: Esme, why do you freak out when you get shots?

E: Because I have a phobia.

H: What's a phobia?

E: It's when you get worried or anxious about something too much.

H: Then don't I have a bobia about shots?

E: You only freak out when you're getting the shot; I freak out weeks beforehand.

H: Oh.

Exchange from today:

E: Harper, thank you for getting that pile of leaves together so nicely!

H: My pleasure!

(We were staying with a friend who often replies, "My pleasure" when you thank her for something.)

Sexton Mountain Jog-a-thon

2009-10-05T10:45:00.004-07:00

Esme's school does one major fundraiser each year to raise funds for:

their Art Literacy program

the Science Fair

an Art Festival

the "meet your teacher" Ice Cream Social

a Family Dance

giving books to kids for their "Sexton Mountain Reads" gigantic book group/reading festival

The fundraiser is a somewhat-less-than 5K for the kids. Each child chooses a goal for how many laps they want to run around their school's track during a 20 minute period on Thursday, October 8th. Esme is planning to run 4 laps, which is one mile - and is a personal stretch for Ms. Thang, since running isn't exactly her thing. I know she can do it, but your encouragement and kind contribution to her school would be great inspiration!

All contributions are due to the school by Friday, October 16th. Checks can be made out to me (Jen Fife-Adams), and I will write one check to the school for easier processing. If you're interested (and there's no pressure here!), please send your pledge or encouraging card to:

Esme Fife-Adams, Sexton Mountain Jog-a-thon Runner, 15533 SW Peridot Way, Beaverton, OR 97007.

Thanks for reading!

Some photos from my new camera

2009-08-30T15:37:00.001-07:00

Thoughts on the new camera

2009-08-30T15:34:00.002-07:00

I looked at my picasa page today and realized that since I've gotten my new camera, I've taken over 900 pictures. I really love my D40 and am so glad that I got it. Health care reform might be frustrating, school stuff might not be awesome, my weight loss might be moving slowly, but, by gum, I can take pictures!

One of my nephews

2009-07-02T16:08:00.000-07:00

Here's my nephew Rowan lost in thought. His parents are deep thinkers; I think he's inherited that gene, too.

Overheard at the Library

2009-06-24T11:14:00.002-07:00

Harper is talking to a little guy just about her size.

The little guy's big brother comes around the corner and says, "Don't talk to him! He doesn't speak English. He just speaks Baby!"

Harper Quotes

2009-06-04T19:40:00.003-07:00

Steve puts the tiedye dress on Harper. She thinks of it as her "Giant" dress: the dress that allows her to feel like she is literally a giant.
"Oh, you put on my giant dress?" says Harper.
"You're humongous, don't you agree?" replies Steve, quoting the song from the Backyardigans.
"No, " says Harper. "I am small and cute!"

Harper walks in on Steve using the bathroom. (Perhaps TMI?)
She says, "Are you peeing?"
"Like a ma-an?" (Harper says "man" as if she were a southern belle.)

Steve tries to get another piece of broccoli into Harper's mouth. She shuts her mouth tight, refusing the bite. Steve asks, "Don't you want to grow up to be a big, strong girl?"
"No," replies Harper. "I like being small."

Harper and I look over a balcony in a parking garage. I tell her that I'm happy to show her the view but that she should never climb balconies and jump out since she'll get hurt. She replies, "But someday, when I'm a big frog, I'll be able to jump out of windows REALLY quick!"

And, of course, about half the time we ask her "Are you ________?" where the space is filled in with hungry, tired, busy, or coloring, Harper will invariably respond, "No, I'm Harper!"

Esme lost her first tooth

2009-06-02T14:37:00.003-07:00

I was surprisingly emotional today at the dentist when Dr. S liberated Esme's first loose tooth. I wasn't sure if E would allow the dentist to help her, but here's what the dentist promised:

No pain: she put numbing gel on Esme's gums
A present
A call to the Tooth Fairy from Dr. S, using the superfuzzy pink and leopardskin Tooth Fairy action phone

The last did the trick, and minutes later Esme was grinning her heart out at the staff and her family. The minutes couldn't race by fast enough until Esme could show her kindergarten classmates. Tonight, she wants to stay up really really late so that she can meet the TF when her Sacajawea dollar comes.

Obsessed with reading

2009-05-23T11:48:00.003-07:00

In the past six weeks, I seem to have my nose in a book all the time. I've read at least 15 books and enjoyed almost all of them. Check out my page at Goodreads.com for reviews on most - I'm still behind but will hopefully get all the reviews written this weekend. Time to go out and enjoy the gorgeous weather right now, though!

Day Trip Oregon: Hood River and Mt. Hood

2009-04-21T15:35:00.004-07:00

We, as much of the northern U.S., had extraordinary weather over the weekend. It was sunny and 72 degrees, which is Heaven in my book. Since I knew Sunday would be spent with chores and cleaning, we made Saturday into a playday and drove East. If you're a Portlander, East means one thing: going to or by Mt. Hood! I was as giddy as a schoolgirl since I've been worshiping Mt. Hood since we moved here in August. It dominates the landscape on every clear day, making it hard to look at anything else (except for Mt. St. Helens, Mt. Adams or on the rare day, Mt. Rainier), so I was looking forward to the opportunity to get closer and see if it was as impressive close up as it is from our 60 mile distance.

We started the day out by exiting Interstate 84 in Hood River, a burg at the confluence of the Columbia River and Hood Rivers. We weren't expecting much, but Hood River ended up being a little bit of Ann Arbor out West. The downtown area went uphill but was about five blocks by five blocks and was comprised of bookstores, ice cream parlours, tablecloth restaurants, toy stores. What made it different from Ann Arbor was the view: you could see the Columbia River Gorge and Mt. Adams from most spots. I'll have to do more research to see what makes this town tick, but I imagine that skiers and other sportsfolk (snowboarders, kiteboarders, parasailers, boaters) stay here on weekend trips since it's within reach of all the fun available around here. I was listening to the weather yesterday, and Hood River is due to get snow on Thursday, so I would guess that the weather is not quite as moderate in H.R. as it is in Portland, but perfect for the skiers and snowboarders.

From Hood River we headed into the valley (home of the much-vaunted "fruit loop" of orchards, fruit markets, antique stores and all that kitsch) and got our first view of Mt. Hood from an angle we hadn't seen it previously. As we kept going up and down hills, the moutain would play peekaboo with us, but everytime Steve and I saw it, we gasped. If it's impressive from 60 miles away, 15 miles leaves me speechless. After a stop at a rural craft show with quilts and pulled pork, we continued on Rte. 35 as the mountain kept getting bigger. The traffic died down and as the shadow of the mountain fell on us, we nervously decided that if the snow ever looked dangerous, we would turn back. We kept seeing exits for putting chains on and finally started seeing SNOW, but it was all disciplined and plowed, so we continued on and climbed and climbed as the snowpoles proliferated and the plowed snow was 10 feet high in places. Our tension was palpable since we'd never been on this road before and didn't know what would be beyond each hairpin curve. Finally, at 4000 feet or so, the road started to descend again, and I don't think Steve and I spoke until we met Highway 26 in Government Camp. As we drove West on 26, we continued to get different views of Hood, and I kept threatening to lose my lunch as the downward curves made it easier to look down into the gorges. Finally, we got to Sandy, which is the farthest east suburb of Portland and people and noise proliferated, and we seemed to get our voices back.

I'm sure that any native would have thought we were patsies for not getting out and hiking a trail while we were near the mountain, but I felt like the experience was religious enough in and of itself. It was our first experience of the mountain, and I'll never be the same.

Experiences like this convince me that moving out here was a wonderful choice. There is nothing like this in the Midwest, and as much as I love home and my family, my spirit races when we get to experience something new like this. It's almost as if seeing and experiencing something new adds oxygen to my blood, making me feel like Katharine Hepburn in The African Queen after her first exhilarating rapids ride. It seems to be part of the cure for my depression and makes me hope that I'll keep looking for new experiences as I get holder since I'm convinced that it will help to keep me young.

New Stage for Harper?

2009-03-22T12:20:00.004-07:00

A friend just wrote that her daughter is going through periods of great maturity alternating with a desire to be treated as a baby.

Harper is going through something similar - real independence in activities (she can play by herself for a good half hour now (this is huge when you realize that she has only known life with a sibling)) balanced with a new emotionalism. She's crying at the drop of a hat, which is something that we haven't seen since she was a newborn. She's usually our "steady freddy" in the household, but today she cried for 20 minutes when her dad said she couldn't have a cookie. Weird.

I do think that she's going through a new developmental stage involving the emotional parts of her brain and remember this most strongly when Esme was three. I hated when she was three because she was like a teenager who could go boneless. I have been dreading this similar phase with Harper, but if we're getting through it now, maybe she'll just be done with it faster. I'd also love if we could avoid the "I really really hate you Mommy" phase.

An Actual Update

2009-03-19T20:00:00.004-07:00

It's been too long since I gave a status update that was more than one sentence long and wasn't on Facebook. Since I finally see some light at the end of the tunnel, I feel like I can actually give some news.

This Winter, soon to be Spring, has been filled with surprises weather-wise. Just when I feel like I have a grip on what to expect the next day, we'll get something different. One day we had all the types of rain possible AND a hailstorm just to throw in something new. It's not depressing like Michigan's uber-long and undying winter, but there is a lot of rain. Just like all those things we've read about the Northwest forever. They weren't lying. The relief comes from the occasional day, now happening at least once a week, when it's sunny and 60. We spend a lot of time outside on those days.

The other thing that has helped alleviate potential depression has been the floral splendor. The azaleas started blooming last week (usually May in Michigan), the daffodils got into action this week, and the crocuses are already dying back. It looks like the tulips will start blooming in another few weeks; I wonder when the lilacs will start up! On the one hand, this has messed with my "outdoor knowledge;" I always expect that the lilacs will bloom around May 7th because that's what I've known my whole life. On the other hand, who cares? It's glorious, and I'm reveling in it. We've got a tiered backyard (since we live on a little mountain), and it's interesting to discover what plant life we have - the previous owners were conservationists so planted a low-water need garden. Most of the plants are mysteries to me, so I look forward to getting out my plant guides and figuring it all out.

Steve is firmly established in his new job. I know how important it is to him because he brings some of the work home with him, which is something I didn't see for years when he was at Borders. I don't like how unavailable he can seem sometimes, but since I'm getting more comfortable in the neighborhood, I feel like we're developing a safety net. Even though he's leaving for a business trip at the beginning of April, I'm not as concerned as I was with previous business trips. Esme's best friend's family has become a terrific support, and I have a sister "outlaw" (a brother's ex) who lives in town. Also, since I'm on the board for our housing association, I've gotten to know some of our neighbors better.

Where we live has been a real joy for me; besides the new plant life, I love living uphill where I can get a view of Mt. Hood, the West Hills of Portland and when I move a tiny bit west, the Oregon Coastal Range. The only other time we lived near mountains was when we lived in Portland, ME, and I certainly don't remember being thrilled by the mountains near there. Here, we have MOUNTAINS. I just don't get tired of that. We also have so many windows that I finally get the amount of light that I like. A skylight would improve it, but then I'd have to worry about leaking.

The girls seem reasonably settled. Esme's made lots of friends at school and has been identified for the Beaverton Talented and Gifted program. She does extra projects and then shares them with her classmates. She's done research on China (and found out about the Chinese female wheelchair fencing champion) as well as written a song about the sixth moon of Jupiter, Europa.

Harper is growing slowly but surely, and loves any physical classes where she can tumble, run, jump and yell. She's a much more physical kid than Esme but adores her sister, continually saying, "When I a big girl like May May, I'm gonna _______." Usually this sentence is ended with something dangerous like "use scissors" or "use a sharp sword." Oh yeah, so my non-physical daughter: she's obsessed with fencing and doing the monkey bars now. So, these things do all come in time...

The only depressing bit of business for us has been being a participant in the national housing crisis. We continue to struggle with two mortgage payments every month, and while we're doing it, it ain't pretty. I'm starting to apply for jobs, but that's not easy right now either. Not everything is getting paid, and we've had to massage the budget in order to keep the lights on. I haven't gotten rid of every luxury (we still have bagels once a week, and I splurged on Thai food last night), but I've had to take out and polish that lovely phrase, "I'm sorry, ____, but we can't afford that right now." We have finally gotten word that the relocating company that NIKE works with will take the house off of our hands sometime in late May/early June if it hasn't sold yet. At that point, hopefully the bank will forgive the rest of the mortgage. I will do such a happy dance on the day we're all done with that headache. I'll probably buy a frothy beverage, get a People Magazine and buy myself something pretty at the store. Oh, a girl can dream!

Portland Snapshot: Indoor Playplaces

2009-02-20T23:34:00.000-08:00

Tonight the girls and I went to one of those places filled with inflatable slides, etcetera and bounced the heck out of ourselves. The Portland area is filled with indoor playgrounds to an extent that I never saw back in Michigan - even the local rec center gets into the action with a daily indoor playground set up with backyard toys from 10 - noon. There are at least a dozen of these places in the metro area, each with its own specialty, from beer for the grown ups to supervised activities for the kids while mom and dad eat a gourmet dinner.

The one we went to tonight advertised that it was limited to children six and younger, so it kept the angry mob of marauding boys to a minimum. This is excellent for my delicate flowers who don't do well with kids who seem to get their way by throwing their elbows around. By the time we left, Harper and Esme were throwing themselves down the inflatable slide repeatedly, sometimes headfirst. This is unusual: a) they're delicate flowers, b) Harper doesn't seem to like slides in "the real world."

The putative reason we came out and spent our good money here tonight was because Diego of "Go, Diego, Go!" fame was also going to be present. Harper is in the midst of a love affair with Diego; I sold it on Esme by convincing her that it would be cute to see Harper go all swoony over a man with a gigantic Diego head. It was great fun; Harper obliged, and the little waves alone would have rated something on Cute Overload. Of course the real reason we came was so that mom could get all of her stress out from having to deal with the Oregon DMV, the bank that owns my car, lots of paperwork, and now, the Michigan Secretary of State. I'm trying to make our cars legal, and since I find it stressful to deal with official governmental sorts, I was one gigantic ball of stress after a visit to the Department of Environmental Quality and phone calls to figure out the next steps to get a legal Oregon title. After five minutes of bouncing, my cares had disappeared and I was laughing like a fool. I'm glad no one was there to take pictures of me.

Harper's Words, Not Mine

2009-02-06T17:05:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, Harper and I were playing with the monster you see here in this picture, and the monster decided that Harper would be a tasty treat. Right after the monster went, "Roarrr. Roarr. Yum, yum, yum!" and tried to bite her, Harper retorted, "I'm not food! I'm Harper!"

Looking for Snakes

2009-02-04T18:04:00.002-08:00

Today we went to the Tualatin Nature Park (folks, it was 62 degrees and sunny. move to Oregon, already!) in order to look for snakes. As Esme and I took turns rolling Harper through the park, Harper periodically announced, "I'm not scared of snakes!" and Esme would whisper, "I'm a little nervous if a snake decides to startle me." No snake sightings (we decided that it was probably stil too early in the year for the western red-sided garter snakes to be awake), but we did have a wild hamster viewing. It was perfectly camouflaged by the leaves but couldn't hide from our spying eyes! We speculated that it was native to the area and might be called the "wild hamster of Tualatin!"

Twenty Five Things

2009-01-27T17:09:00.004-08:00

So this is a silly Facebook meme that's traveling through the fbisphere. I have way more than twenty-five friends, so this way, all can read and delete.

1. I never thought I'd be a mother. Some days I think I wasn't cut out for it; other days, I think I'm the shit.

2. I love change. Moving to Oregon fed into that need - I miss my friends and family, but I sure do love getting to know a new place.

3. I love mountains way more than I expected. Mt. Hood is MY MOUNTAIN, and don't let anyone else tell you something different.

4. I am incredibly amused that my geeky husband who doesn't follow the sports is working for NIKE.

5. I am not a fan of winter; however, I now know that I don't need to live in a place like L.A. or Hawaii. Portland will do just fine.

6. I am a fan of cultural estuaries. I love when cultures mix and create something new; Santa Fe, NM is a perfect example where you have Hispanic culture, Anglo culture, Amerindian culture all mixing to make something really cool.

7. Life without reading is too unbearable to imagine.

8. Now that I have a fabulous therapist, I don't feel as depressed as I did for years. Whoda thunk?

9. I need to have yoga in my life. It helps me blow off steam like running or martial arts helps some of you.

10. This is the first time in my life that I don't have a job (besides raising my babies).

11. I'm an agnostic, leaning towards atheism, but I love hearing about others' spiritual beliefs (as long as they don't try to convert me).

12. One path my life might have taken: I was offered a spot in Northwestern's graduate anthropology program but couldn't make the money work out.

13. I hate yelling at my girls, but when we're running late for something, I lose it!

14. I may have finally found some folks to do babysitting; I'm looking forward to doing some adult things in Portland like going to hear music!

15. I can't believe how much I love my girls. Becoming a mom has been an amazing journey; watching my babies get born and watching other babies get born has been the most amazing experiences of my life.

16. I like getting older, except for the aches and pains. I like myself more and enjoy being by myself.

17. If given the choice of hanging out by myself or going to a party, I'll probably decide to hang out by myself.

18. I don't like talking on the phone. I like watching people's faces and gestures when they're talking, and the phone just can't do that. I thought SKYPE would be different, but it's not.

19. I feel lucky that I've been able to travel a fair bit. The most beautiful place I've been to is the Isle of Skye.

20. At 39, I have seen babies get born and have seen my mom die. Both experiences are vastly more spiritual than sitting in any church. I have learned to love life more by seeing it from both ends.

21. I would much rather receive an experience than a gift. My stepmom is excellent at this and often gives me babysitting or massages or pedicures or trips as gifts. Awesome!

22. This is a terrible thing: I was adopted when I was six weeks old. My adoptive parents split up when I was two. I have never found my birthparents but like to imagine that my dad and stepmom are my birthparents. In my mind, they're my "real" parents which makes me feel guilty about my adoptive mom.

23. I don't like thinking about money. I manage it poorly and am envious of those who budget, manage to balance their checkbooks and can actually SAVE it. Unfortunately for this country, there are a lot more people like me and a lot less who budget.

24. The day Barack Obama was elected president was one of the greatest in my life. Seeing him get sworn in made me cry. Imagining those girls running around the White House that slaves built gives me shivers.

25. This was hard but therapeutic. I know that I will regret not putting things in and may regret including the info about my mom. C'est la vie.

Overheard?

2009-01-06T20:39:00.002-08:00

"Wow, Harper you're getting to be so big!" I said, as I lifted Harper out of the car.

"Hah-pah getting to be so heavy, too!" replied Harper.

Must See TV

2008-12-10T23:56:00.004-08:00

I so rarely get to watch TV that's for adults that I had a rare guilty pleasure this evening - I got to watch two Daily Shows! Wise choice, too, because in Tuesday night's show Jon Stewart and Mike Huckabee amiably argued about THE ISSUE for this generation: whether gay marriage is a civil rights issue or a religious issue. I loved watching the back and forth between them, and I felt like I understood the frustration of people on either side of this issue. Please check it out if you get a chance.

Portland Snapshot: Pittock Mansion and Forest Park

2008-11-30T15:45:00.003-08:00

Today's adventures took us to Forest Park, the largest city park in the United States. It's 5,156 acres dwarfs Central Park's 843 acres, and it has over 50 miles of trails throughout, with Douglas Fir, many ferns and at least 175 different species of animals present. We did a short hike on the Wildwood Trail, which goes down the eastern side of the West Hills. We might have had a great view of the Willamette and Columbia Rivers, as well as Mt. Hood, but the fog was thick and soupy, making it feel much more likely that we would run into Bigfoot. It was noticeably colder on the trail than it had been back in Beaverton, making me glad that I had made the girls wear coats - 60 degrees in Beaverton became 50 degrees on the Wildwood.

At the end of our hike, we walked over to the Pittock Mansion. It was built for Henry and Georgiana Pittock, owners of The Oregonian in the early 20th century. Completed in 1914, its 16,000 square feet were designed by a Portland architect and built exclusively by Oregonians. The Pittocks were quite the Oregon boosters, it seems. Esme loved the mansion because it reminded her of Hogwart's and castles inhabited by princesses. Steve liked the history. Harper liked the more than 200 stuffed mice that were hidden among all the Christmas decorations. I like old houses, so I enjoyed imagining what it would have been like to live or work in this massive house. Henry Pittock only got to enjoy his house for five years before passing away; his children and grandchildren continued to live in the mansion until 1958, when the cost of taxes and repair work became too much for them. The city bought the house in 1964 for $225,000, about what we paid for our 2000 square foot house in Ann Arbor. After restoring the house with the help of many of the original craftsmen, the mansion was opened to the public in 1965 and has been a site for weddings, fancy parties and fundraisers for many of Portland's charitable organizations.

Settling In - some reflections

2008-11-09T16:10:00.007-08:00

We've been in the Portland area for about 2 1/2 months now, and I'm finally feeling like we're getting settled. The girls had their first doctor appointments, Esme has her first playdate scheduled, and I finally am to the point where I'm hanging curtains.

I realized that we're gonna have to love this house because it's already lost value, so I don't think we're leaving Beaverton anytime soon. If you want to see more pictures of the house, I have them on my Facebook account - it's a neat, newish place (built in 99, our newest house yet) with three stories. I do wish we could live in Portland because it's so much more quirky than Beaverton, filled with pierced, alternative everything. It seems like every block has a tattoo parlor, a billiard parlor or an acupuncture joint (in addition to all the coffee places, galleries and brewpubs), while Beaverton is like most suburbs, lots of houses, lots of kids, lots of minivans. The schools are great, though! One nice thing, though: the public transportation is so awesome that it's easy to get into downtown from here. It's like living in Dearborn, if you know what I mean (that kind of racial diversity as well because of Intel and NIKE). One better thing about this house than our house in Ann Arbor: we can walk many places. Esme's school is 1/2 mile away, the grocery store is the same, and there are streetlights and sidewalks that allow Steve to do his late night perambulations with Laika - which is helping him get back into shape. We're both losing weight because of all the walking, both in the neighborhood and up and down the three flights of stairs we have. My new doc said that she loved my heartbeat, slow and strong, which I totally thank the new walking regime for.

The weather is a strange thing - I think I'll get used to it eventually. Let me explain. As all things, it's relative. If you're from California (as many of the folks I meet are), you think that it's always cold and rarely pleasant. If you're from the Midwest, every fall day seems like early spring; the days start cold and drizzly, gradually warming up so that by the time it's 3pm or so, there's often a hint of watery sunshine and you take off your raincoat and sometimes even put on your sunglasses. On Esme's birthday, which was November 1st, we were able to meet at her school playground in shirtsleeves - the rain stopped in time for her party and then started again at 4pm, right after it ended. We had never been able to have Esme's birthday outside, so we were probably a bit giddy about the whole thing (of course I hear that Michigan was having some unseasonably warm weather during the same time). The little bit of summer we enjoyed was non-humid and very sunny, and the rain started sometime mid-October. We still have some leaves left on the trees, and the height of color was in the last week of October, two weeks later than I have generally experienced it in Michigan. I hear that winter gets 10 to 20 degrees colder, and that the sunshine will most likely go away until mid-March. My sun-deprived self is usually a depressed self, but if I'm able to continue walking, and people tell me that I will, then maybe it won't be as bad a winter as I usually experience in Michigan.

My impressions of people: the mean people tend to be from California - they're the ones that cut you off in traffic and give you the finger if you're driving too slowly in the left lane. Everyone else seems to be relaxed and chilled out. Sometimes they're too happy and smile too much. I don't know what to make of that yet. I've been afraid to take the girls to snooty restaurants yet, for fear that the snootiness will ruin my dining experience, but there are lots of pleasant two star kind of restaurants that seem to think that kids are just great. There's a brewpub in town that even has a playroom for the kids. There are restaurants that we haven't been to yet, that take your kids away while you dine intimately. The kids get to play in a colorful playroom, locked away, while you get to get stewed on fine Oregon beer or wine.

The time difference has taken some getting used to. I think that most of my friends are early risers, and if they could call, they would want to do it right after breakfast. Unfortunately for me, their good time is now 6am for me. I, too, sometimes find it to be a challenge. I've had the hardest time trying to remember to call old doctor's offices before 2pm my time in order to catch anyone there. Esme's naptime is usually after 2pm, which means that I don't have any downtime until then. Steve's family keeps late hours, which is a boon, and my parents generally don't care when I call, as long as I'm not waking them up early on a weekend morning; not a problem with this new locale.

The strangest thing for me moving here has been the anonymity. In Ann Arbor, I couldn't go anywhere without running into someone I knew. I was always running into friends, former coworkers, students, clients, fellow democratic volunteers, you name it. This town is so much bigger that I think if we stay here ten years, I'll still be able to go places without being recognized, which is okay with me. Sometimes you don't want people to see you buying Ben & Jerry's ice cream after midnight.

Change We Can Believe In

2008-08-29T00:19:00.002-07:00

I loved loved loved Barack Obama's speech tonight. It was specific, tough, historic, respectful. I watched it two times, and both times it made me cry when he referenced MLK Jr. If he doesn't win in November, the American people need to grow up.

Can your daughter say "Hiyao Miyazaki"?

2008-08-10T20:26:00.003-07:00

One of my favorite film studios is doing a charity auction to support the foundation work of my favorite anime film director. Check out this website and drool as you read about the auction happening at Pixar on September 6th. I wish I could be there.

Getting Ready to Go

2008-08-08T20:58:00.005-07:00

Steve has already transplanted himself to our new town and started working for the place that rhymes with "Mikey," but the girls and I are here for another week as I furiously try to purge our extra stuff and make the house presentable for those who might be interested in purchasing (Oh, real estate gods, please make our house palatable and worthy of quick purchase!) it for a small, small price that won't even come close to what we paid for it. I think I've already said goodbye to Ann Arbor; the photos have been taken, the nostalgia has already occurred, and now, I'm just down to the dirty task of cleaning up our lives. There's something satisfying about throwing away stuff that we'll never use and giving stuff away, but maybe, just maybe, it's keeping me from fully realizing that we're moving really far away to a place where I only know a few people.

A few of my friends have recently been through this exercise. And a few of my friends think that we're nuts for even doing this. I don't know where you are on this spectrum, but please send friendly thoughts our way since I know we'll need them.

Safety Town girl

2008-07-22T20:21:00.000-07:00

Esme is a safety town graduate!
This is her sister and her sitting by the grille of a firetruck after her Safety Town Graduation. She wanted to know where her presents were and how come none of our other friends/relatives showed up for the ceremony. I told her that there were no special gifts for that day.

Big Changes

2008-07-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

3409 Ferry St, Ann Arbor, MI 48103 to Portland, OR - Google Maps

I can't even describe how I'm feeling right now; we're moving to Portland, OR, a town I love and admire, but we're leaving behind friends, memories, places that are dear to us, our reputations, the ability to drive places without thinking, baggage.
We had been talking about the possibility for months. When we were on our great cross-country journey, we went through the pros and cons of Steve applying for this job, of the strangeness of leaving the company that Steve and I have a combined 28 years of experience with and decided that there was nothing to be lost in applying. Interviewing would be a good experience for him, a process that he should experience even if it ended with no change. I did research like a good library school drop-out and found out that the Portland area is 15% more expensive than Ann Arbor but that food costs less (closeness to California), real estate more (20% greater because of the premium of living in a cool ultra-hip city). Winters are less severe, the public transportation is outstanding, but drug use and homelessness are more visible. Steve's brother said that if we wanted to make a lifestyle change that we didn't have to move 3000 miles to do it (well, to be precise, 2344 miles); we countered that how many people could say that they had lived in both Portlands?
Then things got serious. Lots of phone conversations this week. Lots of emails. Lots of quickly called meetings. End result: Steve's last day at Borders is August 1st, and his first day at Nike is sometime in the middle of August.
Telling family and local friends has been the toughest. I couldn't even tell one of my Mother's Groups yesterday (sorry, guys, I was worried that I'd cry). Going to goodbye parties might be excruciating. We're used to being the ones who stay behind now, although we were well-practiced at moving and saying goodbye back in the go-go 90s.
I plan on getting a tattoo with one of my friends before I go. Theoretically, it will be a seated, overly-pregnant woman with a spiral in her center. Maybe it should be a map of Ann Arbor with a heart and a tear. I know that someday I will love living in Portland. It is clearly OUR KIND OF TOWN. Right now, though, I'm feeling stressed and blue and nervous. It's feeling a little like that break-up that I initiated - satisfied in knowing that it's the right thing to do but really scared about facing a future that isn't entirely clear.

Some funny things from the girls

2008-07-06T20:10:00.003-07:00

Jen: "That's mama's IPOD, Harper. Can you give it back?"

Harper: "Harper's butt!"

Steve: "Who's the most beautiful person you can think of?"

Esme: "Me! I'm the most beautiful inside and out!"

Harper: "Hannah miss you book!" and she pointed to the album that Hannah made for us documenting our time together. After Harper said that, she and her dad looked at the album together and named all the people.

Esme, watching me eat a frozen fruit bar: "Can I have one?"

Jen: "No. You and your dad just went to Dairy Queen."

Esme: "I wish I could give it back! I want a fruit bar!"

If you click on this title, you'll be taken to a photo album!

2008-07-01T21:43:00.002-07:00

The girls and I just attended a most excellent family reunion in California. Check out our cute pictures!

The Great Winter Vacation of 2008

2008-06-23T13:57:00.002-07:00

has finally been chronicled, collected and evaluated. It is ready for your perusal. Go here and click on "Winter Vacation."

Motor Muster at Greenfield Village

2008-06-18T07:37:00.001-07:00

June 14 - click on the title to see pictures from a fun day out

Some new pictures

2008-06-08T09:09:00.002-07:00

Click here if you don't see pictures of Esme above.

Another Milestone

2008-05-28T20:41:00.000-07:00

So this was not my idea at all, but Harper has decided that she can use the toilet. She even has a "happy toilet day" song to go along with all this. I'm not going to push it, and I have no plans of giving up diapers, but if she keeps indicating a desire to use the toilet, I will happily lift her up so she can do her thing. Here's to the independence of nineteen months!

Day in Chicago

2008-05-25T21:23:00.003-07:00

I'm spending a long weekend in Chicago with my parents and family, and today we had the opportunity to head into the City. We explored Millenium Park and Michigan Avenue, giving H the heads up when we came across any photo opportunities. Some of my favorite things from today:

Everyone in Millenium Park calling the Cloudgate the "giant bean"
Playing in the pool at the Crown Fountain
Witnessing at least five wedding parties - I guess the cool thing now is getting married in the Loop
Ginger Ale at Big Bowl. Best. Ever.
Watching Harper get frenzied the more and more tired she got. She just runs around in circles when she's exhausted and engages in "physical humor"
Hearing Esme sing my phone number at the top of her lungs while we were in the parking garage; she learned it by singing it and periodically breaks into song, recalling the number for everyone
Ice cream from Ghirardelli

Barack Obama in Portland, Oregon

2008-05-20T09:16:00.002-07:00

Give by stopping at my fundraising page here.

This Week in Jenland

2008-05-18T20:01:00.002-07:00

Esme has taken to talking about both Esmeland and Baby Boboland, exciting places with castles, wizards and fairy folk. Baby Boboland has been around for awhile; if you recall Harper's birthday, she is the Queen of Baby Boboland and had all of her royal buddies join her for her birthday celebration while Esme celebrated and entertained them with song.
Anyway, Esme spent the entire weekend playing outside with neighbor friend Josh. They live in Esmeland and do their version of playing house. Esme is 19, while Josh is 23 and is her guardian until she reaches age after graduating from Hogwart's. Much cooking and spell-making occurred, and eating had to happen on the top of the house because that's where their table was. I should have gotten a picture of this, but you just have to imagine two kids hanging out on the top of a plastic playhouse with 2x4s leaning off of it.
This is the first time that Esme has really engaged in independent play for this amount of time without involving either parents, Aunt or grandparents. Even previous playdates have required one of us to occasionally translate Esme's world to the youth who have dared to enter - kids her age often don't have the sophistication to understand the nuances of Esme's imaginary play, but Josh being a few years older understands at least some of the book characters that make up her universe. I fed Josh lunch and sent him home with toys that we didn't need anymore since I was so grateful for his attention to Esme.
Meanwhile, in Harper's world, big changes! She's officially entered "the terrible twos" with a new emphasis on getting her own way. She's got a twinkle in her eye most of the time, and that means trouble such as marker-writing on her shirt, ink from an ink pad all over her face, marbles in her mouth or attempts at putting random clothing on. This morning she attempted to wear a diaper as a hat and also proceeded to get many bumps as she tried to help with cleaning. "Head hurt!" "Butt hurt!" "Knee hurt!" This time around, I'm not nearly as put-out by the toddler experimentation; as long as she doesn't kill herself, she'll be making herself stronger, and I'm well aware that this is a great time for the child scientist. She's trying everything because it's all new, all in reach, and she wants to understand how the world works. I was originally upset when she had coated herself with green and yellow ink yesterday but laughed in retrospect because it was so clever to take an inkpad and stamp herself. She's got a very scientific mind which I certainly don't want to squash, so I'm trying to allow the experimentation without freaking out.
Finally, I'm feeling both sad and hopeful this week: I was going to attend a birth for a client with a due date of tomorrow, but we mutually agreed to step away from each other since I had so much stress in my life from the family emergency, Steve's interviewing, and work/school stuff (lots of work for Jen coupled with school activities for Esme and H). I feel bad that I had to step away from the birth, but I got a lot of chores done this weekend as well as a wonderful walk in the woods near our house. I can't exactly say that I feel on top of my life, but I feel like I'm slowly getting in control. And Indiana Jones comes out next week! I had students who named their son Indy last year - I don't know that I'm as excited as they are about IJ and the Crystal Skull, but it might be close!

Lovely Language

2008-05-14T21:44:00.003-07:00

You might think, based on the entry above, that it's all Waiting for Godot here at the F-A household, but you'd be wrong! In a delightful language development, Harper has started referring to Dora the Explorer as "Umbrella." We suspect that this is because of the shape of Dora's hair. Not to be outdone, Esme told someone we knew today that she was "in real life quite good at bowling." I've never actually seen her bowl, so I can't say whether she's right or not. Then tonight as I was helping her fall asleep, she told me that she didn't know who the father of her newest baby is; she's thinking of divorcing current husband Calvin because "he's just too crazy," and "it's not a bummer because he's already the father of two of my children." Fellow blogger DB might be happy/concerned to hear that Z is the father of Esme's eldest son Thomas who is 21.

Do I get paper for this anniversary?

2008-05-09T20:28:00.003-07:00

My mom died two years ago today. If you know me IRL, then you may know that I had a complicated relationship with my mother, the type of relationship that I hope not to reproduce with my own daughters. However, experiencing her death with her was the most amazing, loving, powerful event we ever shared. I had so much anger, but at the end, when I was whispering in her ear that it was okay to go, to stop breathing and to be at peace, I felt like all the crap got out of the way.
I still remember the 15 minutes after she died like it was yesterday; big, deep shuddering breath, death rattle and then nothing. I got up from where I had been kneeling next to her and made eye contact with my brother and my husband. At that moment, my entire body shook, and I think that I made one of those unholy keening sounds. A few minutes later, after the initial onslaught of emotion had been released, we all went outside to get some air and to make some calls. I remember that everything looked too bright after having been in the darkened room all day. What I can't remember is if I said the word "died" or "passed away" to people. I think I said "died" because I don't like euphemisms, and it really bugs me when people candycoat stuff.

One of the things I inherited from Ruth is her journals. One day I would really like to look at them, but I know that they're filled with her insecurities, her ignorance, her fear. I could barely deal with that stuff when she was alive, and right now, I've been enjoying the softening that time gives; all of her pointy corners have been worn down by 713 days of sandpapering.
I felt guilty the other day when I was glad that I didn't have to send her a Mother's Day gift. But not so guilty that I beat myself up about it. Maybe I am getting more mature. Maybe my Mother's Day gift to her is a growing confidence in my own confidence and a willingness to live with less fear in my own life. She always marveled at my desire to travel and to learn more each day. I hope that the little bit of her that is in me enjoys the lessons that we're learning as we move towards Day 714.

So Much Going On

2008-05-08T06:23:00.003-07:00

I think it's humorous that when your life is worth writing about, there's just no time to do the writing. What's been going on?

I've been working a lot. Several nights a week + the usual mother's groups on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Sometimes I feel like I'm just handing off the girls to Steve and running to work.
We had a family emergency. Bad enough that I'm not really at liberty to write about it. but it was bad.
Steve's talking to other companies, which might mean that we'll have to put our house on the market in a bad economy and move to a place that isn't the old, comfortable slipper that Ann Arbor is.
I'm still obsessed with politics, and right now, that feels like a soap opera: will she or won't she?

So, anyway, here's hoping for some boredom so I can catch up on my life. The luxuries of journalling, scrapbooking and recording are denied me for awhile longer.

Enough is enough

2008-04-20T20:10:00.002-07:00

If you missed the Democratic presidential debate on ABC Wednesday night, Editor & Publisher called it "perhaps the most embarrassing performance by the media in a major presidential debate in years."

Moderators George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson spent the first 50 minutes obsessed with distractions that only political insiders care about--gaffes, polling numbers, the stale Rev. Wright story, and the old-news Bosnia story. And, channeling Karl Rove, they directed a video question to Barack Obama asking if he loves the American flag or not. Seriously!

I just signed a petition to ABC and other media that says: "Debate moderators abuse the public trust every time they ask trivial questions about gaffes and 'gotchas' that only political insiders care about. Enough with the distractions--ABC and other networks must focus on issues that affect people's daily lives."Over 200,000 people have signed so far. Want to sign it too? We need a bunch of signers for ABC to take this concern seriously.Click here to sign:http://pol.moveon.org/enoughdistractions/?r_by=-1629265-fZmDy0&rc=paste

Thanks!

A Little Activism Never Hurt Anyone

2008-04-10T19:38:00.003-07:00

MomsRising wants folks to contact their congresspeople to ask them to support the Breastfeeding Promotion Act. I sent an e-mail message, and it was really easy. If you'd like to send one too, you can do it by going to: http://www.momsrising.org/
and clicking on where it says, "Support Breastfeeding" and filling
out the form there and clicking the button to send a message.

Snapshot from our trip

2008-04-08T20:55:00.006-07:00

That morning when I woke up, there was a soft, gray light barely illuminating the desert. There were so few houses as our train rushed through at 60 or more miles an hour; every once in a while we would pass a sad little town that looked more "ghost" than "town," and I marveled at the human capacity to live in even the most inhospitable of conditions.
After everyone in the family had risen and dressed, we headed up to the dining car for breakfast. While up there, we found out that the train was two hours behind and still in Utah.
We had all memorized the dining car menu and each had our favorites: H and Esme preferred the Frosted Flakes, Harper would only eat bacon, I preferred the oatmeal, and Steve rotated through the specials. Our dining car attendants were experienced at keeping spills from happening.
After breakfast, H and I headed to the sightseer car while Steve and Esme went back to the room to hang out. I figured that I would let Harper practice her walking while H took pictures, thousands of pictures.
Eventually we entered Nevada, and the Sierra Nevadas slowly grew larger as we moved closer and closer to them. The place names seemed arbitrary: Wells, Coin, Elko, Winnemucca, each small and gray looking, even with the sun high in the sky. They seem especially depressing as we notice the dogs tied up to doghouses and the car graveyards overflowing next to the tracks. The only thing that relieves the eyes is the sight of the mountains in the distance, off to the left, a promise that the landscape will change.

Happy Belated St. Pat's Day!

2008-03-27T20:02:00.003-07:00

This made me laugh so hard that I was afraid I'd wake the children...

Thank You

2008-03-26T20:57:00.003-07:00

This has been a very hard winter, everyone agrees.

I'm finally starting to see hints of spring, although very subtle ones: tiny buds on the crab apple tree, birds present and chirping that I haven't seen in several months, the tiniest hint of life in the garden and yard - not really green, but a promise of green.

More snow is expected overnight, but I'm trying to not feel discouraged. It's been so easy to fall into a funk this winter, but the universe keeps trying to set up a safety net for me: first, our incredible train trip; second, friends are emailing me out of the blue and saying really nice things to me, like how cool I am or that I've inspired them to try something new in their lives. Third, Harper has these fantastic squeaker shoes that make me giggle when she walks around in them.

Thank you Universe. Thank you family. Thank you friends. Thank you squeaker shoes.

You helped me to survive another winter.

Our Trip

2008-03-11T11:36:00.003-07:00

There's not as much wireless in America as you might think. In fact, there are great swaths of this country that have no cell phone coverage, much less the ability to connect with the internet.

Anyway.

We had an amazing time on our trip! I'm going to include a few photos here to whet the appetite.

The Great Adventure

2008-02-20T23:42:00.003-08:00

View Larger Map

On Friday, we leave to see America. I know; overdramatic sounding. But it's true!
We'll be taking trains to and from California and stopping in between in Denver, the Grand Canyon and Santa Fe. While in California, we'll see redwoods, the ocean and Britney Spears' house.

With luck, I'll be able to occasionally blog while we're gone.

Here She Is

2008-02-19T20:57:00.003-08:00

Harper has once again completely lost interest in "the walking project." The best I can do is to get her to dance with her sister or to walk around holding my hand. My suspicion is that she will suddenly start running while we're on vacation.

When I tell people how old she is (16 months) and they look at me quizzically, I usually explain that the women on her dad's side are small (Harper only weighs 19 lbs and still fits in her infant carseat) AND that she had torticollis as a baby which led to some delays in her physical development. She's definitely getting this walking thing, just on her own time.

First Steps

2008-02-17T20:41:00.002-08:00

I don't know what it was about last night, but I set Harper down while grabbing some things to take upstairs and she suddenly started walking. I got some of it on tape this morning and will try to upload tomorrow, but holy freaking cow! I've got a mobile baby daughter!

It's been awhile....

2008-02-05T19:55:00.000-08:00

Thanks to my loyal readers out there. I'm sorry that it's been awhile since I posted. The girls keep growing and doing amazing things, and I keep having things happen that merit writing about, but winter is very hard on my spirit. The lack of sunshine and Vitamin D make it hard to chronicle things and make it more likely that I'm just trying to survive another cold, winter day rather than celebrating the rich diversity of life.
Here are a few sweet treats to warm up your winter evening:

Tonight Esme and I accompanied Elizabeth the librarian to a free showing of The Spiderwick Chronicles. Paramount was looking for final feedback before the premiere on February 14th. After the first reel, the projector broke. After 15 minutes of clapping, yelling of "Start the movie" and Esme's whining, the staff got the film going again but without the sound synced. So we saw the movie for free. but every word was delayed by 7 seconds. And then the projector broke again during the climactic moment of the movie. We walked out in frustration, but the movie theater gave us free movie tickets and the Paramount lady talked with us for a few minutes about how the movie differed from the book and what Esme liked and didn't like. Esme really appreciated having someone listen to her opinion.

Last night at Kroger I had an "Only in Ann Arbor" moment. I was behind a very tall African-American man in line who had a very full grocery cart. Since I figured it was going to be awhile, I started to pick up one of the magazines so I could find out about Brangelina's latest stuff. The man looked at me and said in stentorian tones, "You're much better than that! Don't succumb!" I said, "but it's so tempting!" And he said, "Don't succumb!" And I didn't.

Whenever Harper passes gas, poops or pees, she looks back, pats herself and says "butt!" I'm not making this up.

Sharing the Secret

2008-01-17T21:04:00.000-08:00

I hesitate telling you this since I haven't ordered or reserved my copies yet, but the Newbery and Caldecott Award winners were named today. They both look delightful, and if you reserve the last copy before I get my hands on them, I may break your fingers. Just kidding!
Actually, not many people know this, but award winners are NOT announced to publishers or booksellers before the public knows. There have been occasions when a book has gone "out of print" before it receives an award, and the publisher just has to hope that any extra copies have not been pulped yet or that it will be easy for the printers in Singapore to whip up a new batch. So, just be prepared to wait a few weeks before you can even look at any of Laura Amy Schlitz's books.
A favorite Borders memory is from the old days. One of the children's book buyers has a sister who is a children's librarian in Ann Arbor (The buyer is so popular in kidlit world that Philip Pullman named a character after her in The Golden Compass. I know. I hate her, too.), and the librarian sister was in the room when the award books were named. Within seconds, the sister ran out of the room and called her sister to tell her the winners so she could order thousands more for Borders. For all I know, this is how they still operate. Anyway, in this particular year, I had talked up the David Wiesner book Tuesday like it was the Second Coming. Tuesday this, Tuesday that. What an amazing new author blah blah blah. When it got named as the Caldecott award winner for 1992, I actually got a phone call from Ann Arbor (to the Oak Brook store in Chicago) to let me know that it had won. I think I cried when the buyer told me. You would have thought I was related to David Wiesner or had stock in his publisher. The amazing thing to me is that Borders was a small enough company at that point that it wasn't weird that a buyer would call a bookseller in Chicago just to let her know that her favorite children's book had won the medal. It was small enough that she even knew that it was my favorite. Wow. Borders has over 30,000 employees now. I would guess that the buyer doesn't even know who shelves the children's books in the Ann Arbor stores now.
Brief postscript: to this day, a poster advertising Tuesday hangs above our bed.

Why were the pollsters so wrong?

2008-01-10T08:11:00.000-08:00

I will be (almost) equally happy if Hillary Clinton gets into the White House rather than Barack Obama, but since I am someone who doesn't like surprises, I was dismayed by the huge disparity between, ahem, reality and pundit-world on what happened Tuesday in New Hampshire. People have been saying on radio shows that either it was Hillary's great job at the most recent debate or her teary moment with a voter that put her over the top in NH. I wasn't convinced, and Andrew Kohut of the Pew Survey Center has put words to my suspicion. Why does race still get in the way?

Another Great Trip to Chicago

2007-12-30T21:59:00.000-08:00

We just got back from Chicago late last night and had a great time being with family, showing Hannah the sights, opening lots of gifts, eating lots of food, and stoking Esme's obsessions with Star Wars and The Simpsons.
Best thing we did: Steve got theater tickets for a radio play of "It's a Wonderful Life" on the north side near Irving Park Rd. It was really delightful to see, and we had a great time hanging out with my brother Andy, who lives in Seattle. We ate at an Irish bistro, if you can even imagine.
Most touristy: We took Hannah to the top of Sears Tower and then over to Pizzeria Due for a deep dish pizza.
Cutest relative: our new nephew Malachi Michael. Wow, he's cute! Congrats to Dan and Miriam for creating such a fine person.
Worst aftermath of vacation: Steve got the ick that many of my relatives had.

Addicted to Facebook?

2007-12-22T06:43:00.000-08:00

Steve sent me a Facebook invitation last week, and since I set up an account, I've become obsessed with finding friends, adding my favorite books and movies and figuring out this strange alternative universe. Why is it so addictive? Steve says that it wasn't nearly as fun until they opened the code up and allowed people to have fun with it, introducing all sorts of important widgets like virtual presents that you can send someone, movie quizzes, strange things I haven't figured out like zombie hugs and just all sorts of weirdness. If you haven't joined Facebook, I would advise you not to do it until you've got all major projects done and are willing to sink several hours of your life into this thing.

Harper Look-alike Meter

2007-12-17T19:30:00.001-08:00

MyHeritage: Celebrity Collage - Descendants

Esme at her last dance class of the year

2007-12-16T21:38:00.000-08:00

For the first four weeks of dance class, Esme learned more pieces of the Pizza Pie dance. It became a favorite at our household, with me periodically entreating, "Do the Pizza Pie! Just once!"
Here, for your viewing pleasure, I present "Esme does the Pizza Pie with her dance class."

Her bow at the end makes me laugh every time.

makes me happy

2007-12-16T06:30:00.000-08:00

12 Days of Muppets

2007-12-14T13:52:00.000-08:00

This is Kind of Scary

2007-12-13T20:19:00.000-08:00

I find this disturbing but I can't look away.

Seven O'Clock News

2007-12-11T19:30:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the 2007 Christmas Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends!

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?

Soy Peppermint Hot Chocolate, easy on the whip

2. Do you wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?

Wrapped

3. Colored lights on tree/house or white?

White on both

4. Do you hang mistletoe?

5. When do you put up your decorations?

Whenever we get to it. This year it was the first weekend in December.

6. What is your favorite holiday dish?

Chocolate covered anything. Steve’s turkey. Steve’s stuffing.

7. Favorite holiday memory as a child?

Going to look at the Marshall Field’s Christmas windows, downtown Chicago

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?

10 or 11. I feel like it was late compared to other kids. I was pretty guileless.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?

Oh yes.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas tree?

Farm animal lights and a motley collection of ornaments that have been given, made, a few bought (like the beetle ornament). The best ornament is Esme at two (picture included) singing Jingle Bells (recording included).

11. Snow?

I prefer either gigantic amounts of it or none. And not on the day that we either drive to Chicago or return.

12. Can you ice skate?

Weak ankles.

13. Do you remember your favorite gift?

No. Just the ones that terribly disappointed me. Isn’t that sad?

14. What's the most important thing about the holidays for you?

Keeping my family from being too disappointed. Trying to show that giving is as cool as receiving. Trying to show that Christmas can be meaningful even without believing in “the reason for the season.”

15. What is your favorite holiday dessert?

Those ice cream yule logs that Friendly’s probably still sells (I don’t have a Friendly’s anywhere near me so I don’t know if they’re still a going concern).

16. What is your favorite holiday tradition?

Going on our annual trip to The Original Pancake House. Doing our annual chocopolooza of dipping the expected and not-so-expected into chocolate. Watching a Charlie Brown Christmas

17. What tops your tree?

One of the 30+ angels that Kathy has given me over the years

18. Which do you prefer - giving or receiving?

Giving. Receiving can be really stressful, especially when you get something that you really don’t care for.

19. What is your favorite Christmas Song?

Oh Come oh come Emmanuel, Happy XMas (War is Over) - makes me cry everytime, Seven O'Clock News/Silent Night - Simon and Garfunkel

20. Candy Canes?

Preferably dipped into chocolate (see above) or broken up and placed into peppermint ice cream or peppermint bark

21. Do you feel Christmas is too commercialized?

Yes. But if it weren’t, Steve might not have a job.

22. Real tree or artificial?

I wish real. But I have a really adorable fake tree that I’m loathe to stop using.

23. Do you put lights up on the outside of your house?

When the political will is present. It’s all me, so I have to really be in the mood.

24. Do you do a Christmas dinner and who cooks?

Christmas Eve is usually something with the Adams. Christmas day late is usually with the Fifes. Steve is the chef of the household, so he has to decide how involved he gets with either set of preparations. Thanksgiving is more his type of holiday (brine anyone?).

25. Is your family the everyone-unwraps-gifts-at-once sort or do you do it one at a time?

One at a time,

26. Do your pets share in the festivities?

Laika always gets gifts from my family. Sometimes I remember to get her something.

Stalin-Lenin-Kalinin-1919

2007-12-08T05:21:00.001-08:00

Stalin-Lenin-Kalinin-1919, originally uploaded by Erika Hall.

My new favorite tag on flickr is "lolshevik." Seriously. You gotta try it.

Harper and Ernie in the tub

2007-12-05T08:51:00.000-08:00

Our good friend Maia just started saying "uh oh" and that reminded me that I had made this video and not loaded it yet. Enjoy!

There's Nothing Like Having a Teenager Around

2007-12-02T19:42:00.001-08:00

So, I've been trying to get some exercise despite the winter-like weather we've been having here in Michigan. Tonight, my particular teen tells me that the stuff I've been doing looks like this:

At least I still have enough of a sense of humor to laugh at this. Maybe my teen can spice up my moves a little bit.

Looking Back On This Month

2007-11-30T20:31:00.001-08:00

I did it! I didn't think I would, but I did - I blogged 29 out of 30 days this month, and one day I blogged twice, so I think that should count for the one day I missed!
This was not as difficult as childbirth, but I had some days that I really thought I wouldn't be able to do it. "But nothing happened," I told myself. "Why would anyone want to read about the stupid crap that I'm thinking about?" Fortunately, throughout the month, I got nice emails encouraging me to continue. Just tonight I got an email from a very dear, old friend commenting on just about every entry I made this month and thanking me for all the updates. She said that she would like to join the blogging 'oughts,' too, but isn't sure she could do it. You can! I didn't think I could do it either, but I managed to blog every day for an entire freakin' month, and I learned an awesome secret (no duh will say the writers out there): the more you write, the easier it gets. Maybe it even gets better.
Some people have said that the arts of writing and reading are disappearing in this country, maybe even globally. I don't believe it for one minute. I was never any good at keeping a diary, but blogging I can do. Technology has made it easier for me. Do I get a little stressed out that someone in Uzbekistan might be reading these words and plotting against me? I can't pretend that I wasn't surprised about the breastfeeding flap that happened here earlier in the year, but having an unknown/known audience makes me try a little harder to write more often and to make this interesting rather than just a stupid exercise in navel-gazing.
Thank you all for hanging in there with me. I really appreciate it. And thanks to my awesome family for not minding all this writing about them.